Jokes in 2008

Funny jokes I collected in 2008....
(ps. lame jokes are coming soon)

1. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Bobby stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you are stupid, Bobby?" "No ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there by yourself!"

2. One Sunday morning a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready to go to church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. "I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you should go to church. One, you're 59 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"

3. A man comes home and finds his wife and his friend in bed. He shoots his friend with a M16 and killed him. His wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends. "

4. A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, 'send me a brother....' Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'

5. Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?' Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister missed one, my mom fainted, my dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away.'

6. Young boy: 'Daddy, what is the difference between confident and confidential?' Dad: 'You are my son, I am confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son, that's confidential!!!'

7. This is a cute one:>>>

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was only 2 years old.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', (which was actually just water). After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy "tea", my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of "tea" for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet bowl?'

8.

Perks of being over 70

(or what you have to look forward to if you are not yet over 70). 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run - anywhere. 4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. Things you buy now won't wear out. 6. you can't read this without straining your eyes. 7. Your eyes won't get much worse. 8. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 9. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 11. You can't remember who sent you this list 9. I love thanksgiving.

10. You can have it for free.