Lame jokes

Lame jokes of the year... vote for the lamest one.

1. Have you heard of the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

2. Your mama’s so fat, …

--when she wears an X-files t-shirt, a helicopter landed on her
--when I swerved my car to avoid hitting her, I ran out of gas
--when she wears black at night, a policeman goes ‘break it up you two’
-- every time she turns around, it’s her birthday

3. If those millionaires and zillionaires out there want to direct a movie, what would the title be? -LORD OF THE RINGGIT.

4. Why was the Tomato blushing? -Because he saw the salad dressing. (oooooooooo.....)

5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? -No idea. (no eye dear) What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes? -Still no idea.

6. What is BROWN AND STICKY? -A stick....

7. A man and his wife has two children. One day, the man bought some dear meat back for dinner.
Children: What is that, Mummy?
Wife: Guess! It's something I always call your dad. (dear and deer sound the same)
(The older child to the younger child): DON'T EAT IT! It is an ASSHOLE!!!

8. An elderly couple was having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says, "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend.

The other man says, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying, "Uh, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies, "A carnation?"

"No, no. The other one," the man says.

His friend suggests, "The poppy?"

"No, no, no," growls the man. "You know--the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you," the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

9. What do you call Donald Trump's pet? -a TRUMPET.

10. Who's Donald Trump?